Sunday, March 11, 2012

Spring Forward

I recall a conversation with my youth about what season best represents my life. A few months ago I said to them I was in a Fall season. "Leaves changing colors, dying and falling to the ground so new ones can bloom in the season ahead", this was exactly my life. Here's some of the new leaves sprouting on my tree:

- I'm so excited about the roots being planted in my new church home and I get more confirmation each week that Community Baptist is home. Yet I still feel at home when I'm in DC too, so I'm settling into having a home at each location and growing stronger with the church communities.

- I'm still exhausted with relational challenges in the ministries I serve on and with friendships. But really learning to accept people as they are and just be myself as well is all I can do, God has to do the correcting in me and them. I leave for Atlanta tomorrow and I trust that I wont return the same after this leadership conference. Going to let those folks pour knowledge and encouragement into me to strengthen me for my new season.

- Financially, I've been very conservative, pinching pennies more than usual since paid work is slow. Got some new business plans on the horizon and even today I received encouragement to pray, with expectation, bigger to God that He use the talents within me to generate revenue. I've been sharing my talents for free forever and understanding that I'm valuable and my time is deserving of a price tag feels great. Talking out my business plan with the Head Man in Charge and letting Him be my advisor, my board, my trustee, my shareholder and partner is so fulfilling.

- This little heart of mine is still mending yet still hopeful for new love to sprout in the seasons to come. I want total healing so I don't go into a relationship with baggage, brokenness or fear. I'm learning to trust more, be encouraged by my Brothers in Christ and take mental notes of the desirable characteristics. Im in admiration of some of the marriages God has placed in my presence but in a healthy way. They give me hope and joy for that kind of Godly relationship and love to be mine one day too.

- Family Life is holding steady. My baby sis got her own spot so I got my apartment all to me lonesome again. My other sis is ready to pop out that baby any second. Still cant believe my nephew will be 21 in a few months, Granny Pants feels a bit old LOL. I place the rest in God's hands to work His way through my family and have His will be done. I'm just gonna keep on praying.

- One of the biggest challenges has been my health and my body. I started to exercise this week for the first time in a while due to injuries. God is a healer so I trust that I'm on a road to recovery and will be back in shape sooner than later. I'm on my second spiritual fast of the year and its been a great cleanser for my body (TMI, I know) and bringing awareness to the crap I eat.

If the young folks were to ask me now, I'd say I'm definitely springing forward into my next journey. I think I'm in limbo somewhere between Fall and Spring. Ironically, my life has been somewhat consistent with the Winter/Spring/Confusion this season of nature has been. I've had the snow days (cold numb moments), rain showers (more crying than I've done in my lifetime), sun beaming days (full of pure joy and inner light shining), windy days (if you didn't hold on I just might have knocked you down on my warpath), and some crisp, clear skies with reasonable climate (just kicking back and going with the flow). I'm truly ready for Spring though, may the new leaves grow and I be planted by the rivers of water to bear much great fruit.

"And he shall be like a tree planted by the rivers of water, that bringeth forth his fruit in his season; his leaf also shall not wither; and whatsoever he doeth shall prosper." Psalm 1:3 (King James Version)

Peace yall!

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Pay Back

Three times this morning I received prayers from friends that God's favor be with me today. That got my morning going because I was ready to start my day and prepare for His favor coming. I'm doing my morning routine and catching up on monies due to me from agencies and Uh OH...Nothing! Not one red penny is due or will be due. At the moment I have no bookings in the works and no funds coming in...FAVOR???

As I write in my morning pages and begin to let the sorrow come over me I recall Daddy's conversation yesterday with me. He said that all too often we do things and sit with our hand out waiting for our reward. But we don't really know if the service we're doing at that moment will be rewarded with a blessing to come or if we're paying back for a previous blessing received. I heard that deep in my spirit. As I write further, I begin to praise God because I know His favor has been over me for quite some time so let me not go looking for something that's already here and take for granted what I got.

I'm walking in a dream that so many others desire and God has allowed me to be very successful, compensated with money and exposure. Of course, I desire increase in wealth but when I think of what He has given me that could've went to someone else I better just stop right there with the self pity. For every moment of financial stress I entertain, someone is getting evicted, forced to do things against their beliefs to make a buck, bouncing from place to place with no home to call their own, selling themselves short to make a living by any means necessary. All the while, my bills may be late and not paid yet but they will be and the list can go on of what I can potentially take for granted as someone else goes without. So if I never receive another blessing from this day forward, I will praise and serve God to pay back what I've been blessed to receive thus far. Thinking on my Daddy's words I know I'm paying back blessings of previous days when I certainly didn't deserve any of this but He saw fit to bless me anyway.

What have you been blessed with in this life and How can you serve God to pay it back or FORWARD actually?

Peace yall!