I sit and think about these things and what people say and my only response is "who would I be if I weren't in Christ?". Anything good that people see in me isn't of my own mind and doing. I am by habit judgmental, angry, critical, selfish, competitive, defensive and more. But the God in me, softens all this and makes me want to do things differently. When I judge and get critical, I'm reminded that God didn't judge and punish me according to what I did. When I'm angry and defensive, I'm reminded that my correction comes from the Lord and so does my definition, so just block out the haters. When I'm selfish or competitive, I'm reminded to do for others as God has done for me time and time again.
When folks label me as "too churchy" I have to laugh and not take it personal. I know for some its hard to process right now because they haven't reached their own reverence for God and His awesome hand in their lives. He's with them but they just can't see Him yet, their enlightenment will come. For those who serve a different God or no God at all and judge me, it doesn't make my God any less powerful because of your bashing. For those who can't let go of the old me and accept that God is the real deal for me and not for show...well maybe God hasn't revealed Himself to them as He has to me. I have testimony upon testimony of God's turnaround and love in my life. If it weren't for Him I'd be such the opposite of anything I am today. Current day God is taking me through some things and correcting my shortcomings. Its been most challenging for those who only know me after salvation and can't believe some of the "mess" I'm in. Even they have labeled me to be a perfect "incapable of mistakes" saint. They can't begin to process where I used to be before Christ and without ill intentions, they judge.
Let them describe me and I'm a celibate, only marrying a Pastor, never saying a curse word, rich and always working, don't ever get rejection, totally perfect Christian. This woman just doesn't exist or at least not in me anyway. I am far from perfect and I'm not too churchy. Where would I be if it weren't for God? If I didn't hang on Gods word how much "mess" from my past would I still be standing in? If I didn't profess my love of Christ and how awesome God is, wouldn't that be the phony BJ as opposed to the too churchy BJ that folks think is phony? You can't go through this stuff and not wanna tell everyone how good He is. You just can't!!!
Peace yall!
- BJ Gianni
www.youtube.com/bjgianni
http://crazybayooteefull.blogspot.com
@bjgianni
People always seem surprised when they find out I'm Christian. There's this "idea" in people's heads of what that means. And I don't fit the bill. I'm glad that you can be so open about your faith. I think it's easy for people to assume that people open about their faith have a "holier than thou" attitude. But it's not (always) true.
ReplyDeleteYour relationshp with God is a beautiful thing, however it does appear tat you put it out there alot. It can be a little too much at times.. Like "ohh here she goes again". No one is knocking the fact that you praise God, etc. Because we all should and I absolutely do. So, I'm not surprised that some may think you're celibate, marrying a pastor etc. It's like the girl who's rich and always brags about her Prada bag or Gucci shoes. It can just be a bit overwhelming... and with you now being pregnant and suddenly engaged, it makes you look like some what of a hypocrite..
ReplyDeleteHello Anonymous, thanks for your response. Just to clarify, not you are owed an explanation, I was engaged well before I knew I was pregnant. Again thanks for sharing your opinion :-)
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