Everywhere!

I'm laying in bed smiling and so tickled at how God pops up in the most unexpected places. Last week I drove my sister to her doctors appointment and waited in the lobby for her. I'm reading about the womanly services they provide and ask if I qualify to be seen. [Sidenote: I'm a full time actress with no health insurance so I pay cash for all appointments.]

I'll make this next part short to get to the good stuff. They agree to make me a new patient, squeeze me in that day for a check-up and schedule a follow-up for the following week. I thought it was great and I was moved by the fact that its a ministry clinic that groups medical care with spiritual encouragement. They have mini bibles and books about purity, God, Sex, love and relationships that they hand out. They even have checklist questions about your salvation as part of procedure. Hallelujah God, people getting saved at the doctors office.

My icing on this cake was at my follow-up yesterday when I reached in to hug my nurse. Although this was my second time in her presence, I felt so much in the presence of family and couldn't wait to hug her before leaving the office. When I did, she squeezed me tighter and began to pray over me. I fell in line instantly and begin praising God in agreement with her prayer. I am so tickled and in awe at the boldness God places in a complete stranger to speak His words over me just by going in for a hug. It was like God appointed her to be there at that moment and pour into me. Did I mention we were still in the doctors office...like the patient room... Hallelujah! That man is everywhere! He reveals Himself more clearly to me at times and I'm so thrilled that I had to share. God Is Everywhere for all of us at all times. May your eyes be opened today to see Him!

Peace yall!

- BJ Gianni
www.youtube.com/bjgianni
http://crazybayooteefull.blogspot.com
@bjgianni

I need you here

Its 6am and the truth just settled in. Something has been stirring up inside of me since I arrived to Dover on the bus. The drop off point was within a few steps of the house my mother lived in for years. Its crazy because I knew that the bus stop was next door but I've been so busy I guess it didn't register. Even as I got off the bus and waited for my ride I thought briefly how nice it would be to just walk home. Walk those few steps to her house and climb into her bed like I used to do so many nights when she was here. I didn't linger in sadness too long as its become a normal thing to try and do life without her here. I still felt a bit cranky and couldn't put my finger on it. As I lay here playing Gospel tunes in the bed it hit me. I was within steps of her house yes but it was also the place where she took her final breaths of air, where she made her transition, where I laid by her side and looked into her eyes for the last time. Although I've drove past her house a few times over the years it hit me so hard this time and I don't know why. I've survived so many Mothers Day, could it simply be the holiday combined with being here? Maybe its the fact that I really feel I need her in my life to do those things only a mommy can do. Man I thought I'd gotten through the roughest patches of losing her. God has helped me rest in a peace knowing that she's with Him. But still at this moment none of that's matter, I just wish she was here. As my life transitions into bigger and greater accomplishments. As I process past hurts and receive healing, I need her here. As I see my family reuniting and growing along side me, we need her here. God where did my peace go and why did it have to leave this weekend of all times? Why do I have to relive that moment when everyone is asking "What are you doing for Mothers Day?". When everywhere I turn there a sign or a commercial about showing your mother how much you love her? Why????


- BJ Gianni
www.youtube.com/bjgianni
http://crazybayooteefull.blogspot.com
@bjgianni