Five

Just watched the movie "Five", a compilation of five short films that were connected into one feature film about Breast Cancer. The movie was directed by some well known actresses to include Demi Moore, Jenifer Aniston, and Alicia Keyes. I couldn't believe it was available online for free but there it was at 3am in the morning as I searched for a movie to put me back to sleep. It is by no coincidence that I stumbled on the movie during Breast Cancer Awareness Month. During the month of October which sits between the one year mark of my mother's ceremony in Barbados and the three year mark of her passing. Five was a wonderful blessing to me tonight and reminded me of so many things to be joyful about and made me aware of fears that lay dormant in need of prayer.

The similarities of the movie and my own life were amazing. I burst into tears several times remembering how some occurrences felt when I experienced them in the past and even at the occurrences I have yet to experience but think about often. I'm grateful that I was old enough to experience my mother's illness and talk with her about her feelings. Although she was a candid person she only opened up about some of her true feelings in the last year of her life. Had I been a child like the young character, Pearl, so much of that I wouldn't have been privileged to. Although I haven't had the genetic testing done yet, I do share in the fear of Chayenne's character about the high risk associated with the gene if I do have it. Being the oldest daughter of a survivor makes my chances higher. I can certainly relate to Lili's character in deciding to take all the burden of this illness on herself and attempting to be strong by distancing others from the battle. In the first year after my mother's diagnosis she avoided cancer and acted almost as if it didn't exist. Just like the character, she eventually realized that her family was exactly what she needed. Praise God! When I reflect on the character, Mia, I see so much of my mother. Mia was positive she would die as a result of Stage 4 Breast Cancer, the highest stage. She grew bitter and mean towards others, spent money and "lived life" like there were no tomorrow. I recall my mom buying gifts and expensive gowns and acting like money was of no concern at all to her. The only difference is Mia went into remission and realized that her Faith was lacking. After 2 years she was in complete remission, so that just goes to show that Faith is such a major part of this battle and it only gets harder without a belief system and supporting family.

The character that probably touched me most is Chayenne, the 26 year old with the breast cancer gene. Wondering what my future holds because of my family history I cried hard at the end of her story to see how strong her husband grew. They had a somewhat superficial love for each other that was truly tested by her illness and in the end it proved that they had a real love and he stood by her side. Makes me think of my dad and how he was there for my mother through all of her battle and never stopped loving her even though they had been separated for years. I still remember the day my mom confessed to me that she had fallen back in love with my dad. Breast Cancer gave my family some great moments in life and this was one of them.

As I said the movie "Five" brought to light some real concerns I have about health, love, support, and my Faith in the area of Breast Cancer. But it took me back to so many great memories and blessings that my family and I received throughout my mom's walk with cancer. It's so funny because I can recall walking pass advertisements for the movie at literally every corner in NYC for at least the past month. I said "Hmmm, that seems like an interesting movie, wonder what it's about?". I thank you Lord for the blessed gift of finding this movie tonight and shedding tears of joy and feeling a bit closer to my Mommy tonight. I trust that my future is already written and bayooteefully planned by you with an abundance of love and support no matter what my story will be. I'm going to the doc next week to start the process for my second mammogram, I encourage you ladies to be pro-active and get your screenings too.

This is a must see movie for anyone touched by Breast Cancer and Women in general. Check it out at hulu.com

Peace yall!