Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Full Circle

My road trips are always a time for deep thought and reflection. The open road puts me in a trance and all sorts of things start coming to mind. I realized that in so many ways my life has come full circle one year later to the challenges I previously faced. The only difference is my Faith in God is so much stronger and comforts me as I endure these trials.

I find myself battling the fear of loneliness, which was so heavy on my heart just a year ago as I prayed everyday for God to give me a companion. But today, I know that God has inserted people and opportunities into my life to lift me up and surround me with love so I'll never be lonely if I look around me and inside me for His love.

I'm reminded that my mother has passed to a better place as I sit on the anniversary eve of her Barbados ceremony and a just few months short of the 3 year mark of her passing. This time last year was devastating for me, coming to the epiphany of just how much a maturing woman needs her mother's love. But through Faith, I know that I can talk to her spirit and that I'll see her again at the appointed time. I find strength in memories of laughter and love when she was here to console me. Although I'm not traveling to Barbados tomorrow as I had planned, I'm still close to her. Only God Knows, but maybe I'll be there in November.

Coming full circle, I'm challenged with family circumstances that weren't resolved last year this time. I stay in prayer and trust that this time, because I'm getting the Lord involved, some things are gonna change.

There are some less than desirable friendships, health concerns, inappropriate mindsets and lack of motivation that have all crept back into my world. However, God is closing doors left and right and I ain't nothing but grateful to sit back and wait on Him. He has the strength to do some things in my life that I would never do, leaning on myself. But that's why were supposed to trust His ways and not our own.

In closing, I have had a sorrow filled month or two but I'm positive for tomorrow's outcome because I'm looking at my full circle for the shape that it is. These circumstances are adding to my character and making me the well rounded being God intended. Not incomplete as in a half circle or semi perfected in His glory. But a full circle, complete and strengthened perfectly in Christ.

Blogging Is Therapy! Peace yall

- BJ Gianni

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