Yesterday, I was walking somewhere with my hand in my pocket and in deep thought as usual. At some point, I came out of the trance and started focusing on the woman to the right dressed in dark clothing. I couldn't tell what she was doing or if she was looking at me because I didn't wear my glasses. It wasn't until I got right up beside her that I could see her standing there with her left had out signaling for change. The fast pace of Manhattan's sidewalks let me breeze right by her. In the few seconds it took my brain to register what she was doing from the moment I saw her, I had walked right on by. Situations like this make me want to go back. Go back and give her the change that had been twirling in my hand inside the pocket of my coat. Change that had been sitting there all week so I obviously would've been fine without it. However, I'm realizing that I make excuses or justify not going back all the time. It had me wondering how many people are like me? Not the ones who simply walk by without even a regard for the homeless or needy. But the ones who see them, think about them long after they leave their sight, the ones who even actually go back.
This thought is prompted by a volunteer event I'm headed to in about 3 hours. I'm volunteering at a church today for an event called "Don't Walk By" and I've made every excuse in my head as to why I should not go today. Then I recalled that story about the lady yesterday and started thinking of similar occurrences where I've been approached by the needy or walked by the homeless and said "I'll give to the next one" or "I don't believe in giving, you cant trust people these days". It did something to me, to my spirit, to realize the attitude I've carried on for years. I tried to recall the last time I did give to a complete stranger and couldn't find a date.
I woke this morning with anxiety about today's event and after praying for a Godly heart and mind I'm ready to take on the streets of East Harlem. I know that I cant save everyone and that today will just be a small token of contribution compared to the years of walking by that I've done. But having myself revealed to me this morning in such an unpleasing way to my God has me on reversal mode. I am positive that I will have a breakthrough today about how I view the homeless and less fortunate. I'm eagerly anticipating it actually. To be continued...