Friday, August 5, 2011

Sisterly Love

God has given me an abundance of work, I believe, to allow me to continue helping others. I'm laying here in bed wide awake after a long month of busy days and blessings. My only plan for this evening was sleep and more sleep. But I've been texting my Dad to get his opinion on how I just handled a situation with my temporary roommate (my sister). I awoke in the middle of the night to find her gone and I instantly grew angry and worried equally. Angry because I checked my phone and there was no message of emergency explaining why she had stepped out so late. (Sidenote: I consider stepping out after 10pm late especially once I've considered my place "locked up and secure".) Worried because she doesn't have any ties in my neighborhood, so if she ain't at work than where the heck is she? Better yet, why isn't she responding to my calls and messages.

My Dad said to express my concern with "sisterly love". Of course, he says this after I've given her a verbal lashing and pretty much put my foot down about coming in the house late. I told him that I expressed it, but probably more in a motherly way than sisterly. I don't want to treat her like a child but she needs to take this opportunity seriously so she can stack money and get on her own feet as soon as possible. Soon as possible, not solely because I'd like the serenity of my apartment back, but because I know what she can accomplish with sacrifice. I know how to put priorities ahead of friends and romantic relationships in order to focus on the end goal. I spent too many lonely nights in my NJ apartment to pursue my career and be successful. But you have cry tears of sacrifice at night, so you can enjoy the reward of discipline in the morning.

I forget often that I am me and she is she. Meaning that my path of sacrifice and diligence may not be for her. I get nervous each time I feel she is relaxing too much, but I guess she should be allowed to enjoy herself a bit. Who am I to imprison her inside of her circumstances? I'm always tough love with her but I feel its the only way. I don't want her getting sidetracked with anything, but that's probably and obviously not my decision to make. I suppose I could have expressed my concern with sisterly love. But God has placed a nurturing heart in me and I am challenged on a daily with treating folks like they my kids. It's what drives me crazy and keeps me going at the same time to be in a place to assist my loved ones in their growth.

God I pray for strength to endure our circumstances and to have my lips sealed by you when tempted to speak words to her that are not of sisterly love. Amen!

Peace yall!

- BJ Gianni

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