Thursday, August 11, 2011

Suppressed Love

I sit in church some days and stand in admiration of the choir singers. They look so free and full of joy singing their praises to the Lord. I sing along with them and get a small sense of what their praise must feel like. I sing to the top of my voice but only because there is a loud band to drown out my barking. Ha Ha. I'm not much of a singer but if I were, I'd be singing to the Heavens. I am however a dancer, always have been, always will be.

I'm so full of joy that I want to get up and dance at this very moment. It's been a fruitful month in so many ways; bookings, lessons, family growth, friendship growth, youth mentoring and love. This burst of joy is so overwhelming that I find myself sitting here day dreaming about dancing in a studio and just going wherever my body takes me. I promised myself a long time ago that I'd have one empty room in my house solely for dancing. I pray one day that will be true but for now, maybe I could rent studio space and just dance? Why not? It works in my daydreams. I see myself flowing, music blasting, tears falling, toes pointing, arms waving and hair twirling from all the spins and leaps I'm sending up to God for all He has done for me. I love dancing and dancing loves me, it's a fact. How can I continue to suppress this love that God obviously meant for me to know? Yes, that's it, I must do it. Rent a studio space monthly, maybe weekly and make a playlist on my iPad and go. I may even video tape myself and share it on my blog if I get brave enough one day... Hee hee hee!

I'd dance in front of my mirror from time to time in my little apartment. But if you've been reading my blog you know my little apartment recently got smaller. I am tickled, absolutely thrilled at the idea of one big open space with mirrors and music and me. I may feel like Vivian on Fresh Prince of Bel Air after she walked out of that dance audition with the young girls. You know the one where she showed them up with her stellar performance and then passed out as soon as she hit the hallway? But that's alright, it'll be good pain because I sure aint no spring chicken. You get the point!? I Love to Dance, it just does something to me, even dreaming about dancing gets me tingling inside. Some say that unrequited love is one of the most unbareable pains. Why deny my true love a reciprocated emotion? I want to hug DANCE and squeeze her and kiss her and love her and tuck her under my pillow each night so that she's always with me. I gotta go book this be continued.

Peace y'all!

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