Monday, August 9, 2010

I'm Thirsty

Finally made it to church yesterday...whew. After too many reasons why I didn't get up on Sunday morning followed by strep throat last Sunday, I've been away since May. I told myself no matter how tired I felt, how rough my night before, how much stuff I wanted to get done, I was going. I woke at 830am to take my antibiotics and thought for a second "I could just stay in bed and watch church on tv". But that went out of my mind just as fast as it came in. Church to me isn't about the building or just going because its Sunday and that's what the religious society says you should do. Its about getting a spiritual motivation when I'm feeling less than myself. With that being said, I don't wanna turn on the tv and listen to someone preach in a commercialized fashion, nice and pretty for the networks pleasure. I want to hear the word and get down and dirty and be reminded that we have all sinned and we all struggle with Faith but its ok because we are also all righteous and worthy if we just believe.

I arrive at church late or so I thought because service starts at 11am, but that's really just to allow us time to straggle in after the mess of our night before and get settled in to hear Pastor Robinson and the family teach us a thing or two. The ladies are on stage finishing up a song and I go straight to the front and fall in line to tap my feet and clap my hands because I don't know the words. I never do, but that's alright, I still get the same sensation of joy and peace that my fellow church goers feel that do know the words. Makes me all warm and tingly inside and sometimes I do wanna just cry from the pleasantness that music brings to me. The lead singer proceeds to "sing-preach" a little. I don't know if that's an actual term, but you know when they let the band play and stop singing and the lead starts praising GOD and letting out whatever comes to their heart. (Don't laugh at me...hee hee hee) Anywho, she starts talking about those who are thirsty, thirsty for the knowledge of GOD and all he has to offer. Well I guess that's me, because I'm seeking the knowledge of GOD, so call me thirsty, call me dried up, parched, desert-like, and in need of some serious spiritual quenching. I think that's a perfect description from Miss Singing Lady on stage whose name I don't know. I'm sure I'll find out though because I joined the church yesterday. I took the first step towards gaining the knowledge I seek.

As the service continued on, I felt more and more at home as I do every time I attend this church. This was same church I mentioned in a prior blog titled "Alter Call". I went up for alter call again, I very studiously jotted down every passage the Pastor mentioned, followed along in my Bible (actually it was my grandfathers, then my uncles, and now mine), and just soaked up as much as I could. My tummy was barking (not growling) and my body was worn out from getting in at 4am from work. But I was filled with joy and so grateful to be in among these folks at this church. At the end of service is when Pastor always ask for new members and I've sat through many of these and watched the brave souls stagger up the aisle to the front. I remember thinking "Wow, they're ready to commit their lives to GOD" or "Oooh, she's crying as she goes up but she's still going. Is she afraid or happy?". This thought popped through my mind every time I see an entire family, mommy, daddy, and child go up together, "I pray that be me, my child, and husband one day taking that leap of Faith together". But for now its just me and that's the best place to start anyhow. Well me and you know who, I know I'm not in this journey alone because this journey is all about building a relationship with GOD.
So we had a quick new members meeting after the church welcomed us and new members class will follow soon. I'll be honest, although I walked up to joined the other new members with a smile on my face and confident that I was ready. I am feeling other emotions about my decision but I won't let it consume me. I'm going to trust that I made the right decision because I can't get through life repeating the same decisions and expecting different outcomes. That's insane... Literally! I know that it may present a challenge to commit myself to church every Sunday in a state that I no longer reside in. But if I can bring my tail done from NY every weekend to bartend and hang out and work to make a quick buck I can surely discipline myself to get to church as often as possible and that's the promise I'm making to myself and to GOD today. I will do my very best to open my heart and my mind to gain all the knowledge, love, and blessings I know I deserve and have sought for so long.

I'm back on the bus to NYC and with a lot more packed in my luggage than I came down to DC with. I got happiness, peace of mind, a new outlook to my future, some new church folks to call family. Oh and I left one thing behind... That hurdle I jumped over when I joined TOLCM yesterday. That thing was heavy and didn't look good on me

Stay tuned for more of my journey of thirst quenching...Peace yall!
Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

1 comment:

  1. That was a "bayooteefull" entry! Committing your life to Christ is the best life and career decision you could make. The attacks will increase now but know that your strength will also increase! You're fighting for the right team!