Monday, August 30, 2010

School of Life

STUDENT NAME: BJ Gianni Clarke
CREDITS RECEIVED: Dancing, Cheerleading, Big Sistering, Accounting, Cosmetology, Bartending, Cancer Patient Caregiving, Youth Mentoring, Best Friending, Broken Heart 101-103, Modeling, Acting, Pharmaceutical Documenting, Minor in Home Improvements and Mechanical Work, non-fluent in Spanish, Telemarketing, Credit Card Customer Service Rep, Horse Betting Teller, Hostess with the Mostest...

Out of all my life experiences the current one is proving to be the most challenging and I'm confident will be the most rewarding. My latest study in life is knowledge of GOD and seeking my purpose. I mentioned recently that I've been questioning my current career choice. It is not as fulfilling as I anticipated and some days just feels like the same monotony of a 9-5 or a Hamster wheel job. Just running and running on the wheel doing the same thing day in and day out and getting no where. Yes my resume has bigger better credits than a year ago but its still the same Rat Race of an industry as it was when I first started. Anywho, I've been doing some major thinking and this book has me pondering all sorts of questions. What's the one thing I should stop doing and the one thing I should start doing in this life? What would my friends and family say is the driving force for my life? Is it money, family, greed, envy??? Has me understanding that I need to understand my purpose for this life. Even if all the other things I've accomplished in life so far were meant to be. Which I believe they are, every thing happens for a reason and those were all stepping stones to lead me to the current cross road of my life. I need to find my true purpose in life.

Some look at all the things I've accomplished and all the skills I have and call me a "well-rounded person", but it occurred to me after reading a quote that, I may be just like the Hamster on the wheel. Just constantly doing stuff to be doing stuff. When one project is over, I seek the next thing to get my hands into that will temporarily fulfill me. I've changed career paths every two years from the time I started working at the age of 16. I'd get bored and seek a new challenge only to end up repeating the same process about every two years...until now. I've been modeling technically for about ten years but professionally for the past 3 years and I'm getting that itch again. That lack of a challenge. I want this next challenge, this next chapter to fulfill my true purpose in life. It may turn out that this is the career for me, the state I should reside in, the relationship status I should have, the "whatever" God has put me here to do. But I want that reassurance, that sign from above, or a spiritual diploma, if you will, that I'm doing the right thing. I'm not concerning myself with others problems and not taking any prisoners on this journey. It's been a bit sad thus far because I have very little interest in some of the things I used to do and I felt I was losing myself. I know now that I am actually discovering the true "me" and that change is necessary for "her" to be revealed.

I've always been a front row in class kind of student and all my classmates know I raised my hand a million times to ask the teacher questions. When the teacher would say "any questions?" right before class was over, they would turn and look at me with an evil eye. Silently saying, "you betta not ask a question, its almost lunch time"... Lol! This journey of learning shouldn't be any different. I shall raise my hands as often as possible and seek the answers (PRAY!). I shall be confident that my teacher is well qualified in giving me the knowledge I seek (BELIEVE!). I shall attend class every day and be on-time for fear of detentions and punishment and letters home to Mommy (DISCIPLINE and DILIGENCE!) All this will surely lead to my graduation of understanding and bring so many great things in the process (RECEIVE!)

Peace yall!

"Never confuse activity with productivity."

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

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