Saturday, January 22, 2011

Monkey Brain

Hi! My name is BJ and ... well I have a monkey brain. I feel like I need a 12 step program to check-in my thoughts. If I were addicted to anything it would have be random, dangerously random thoughts that swing all over the place. Swinging limb to limb or subject to subject and tossing around things like if I do this than this will happen but if that happens than this will happen so let me not think that, but... So I try to focus on one solid thought and even chant something to stay focused on it. Like when I'm trying to sleep and I just want my brain to be quiet and relax. If the last vision I had was of a flickering candle, than I'll repeat "flickering candle, flickering candle, flickering candle" in the hopes that I'll wake up the next morning refreshed. But its as if a banana just walked into the room swaying back and forth in front of my monkey mind and just like that I'm swinging from limb to limb AGAIN. And even faster now because I'm irritated on top of frustrated that my brain just won't shut up. Its like my thoughts are outside of my head now, jumping on my head or picking off bugs in my hair with really sharp fingers, very annoying. I wanna yell at myself like my mom used to do and say "Knock it off, BJ!!!". I get quiet... And then back at it again. Its kind of funny actually this idea of monkey brain or monkey mind. I first heard about it when I was reading "Eat, Pray, Love" and I thought "Jenkies!", that's what I have. I think the only time my brain is quiet is when I pray and even then random thoughts try to sneak in but I push and push them away and sometimes have to race to the finish line to get a prayer out before my thoughts pop in. Isn't that crazy? I suppose I could walk around praying every second of everyday which I pretty much do already but its exhausting. My thoughts, that is, not the prayers.

Did you know some studies show that people with higher IQs can think more thoughts at once? I must be pretty darn smart. HA, not really. They also say that these are myriad thoughts, because us humans can really only think about four solid things at once. So I guess mine are some sort of half ass not well planned out thoughts??? Hmmmmm? I'll close on that note.

Understanding that my thoughts are my conscious and sub-conscious awareness or emotions I shouldn't put too much value into them all. Sometimes I'm just venting to myself but quietly inside my head, nothing wrong with that... Right? Sometimes I am deeply disturbed by something and it just won't get out of my head or even deeply joyful and don't want to stop thinking about it. I know every thought is not a genius one and some I shouldn't entertain at all. Like the evil ones about that girl with the way too tight pants on and her... Well ok you get the picture. But while I don't think I'm crazy I do need to find a way to tame this monkey brain of mine. I want to meditate more to get closer to God but we won't even start with what those sessions are like. Random Thought: I wonder if I eat a banana while thinking will cure my monkey brain???

Just playing, peace yall!

Sent on the Sprint® Now Network from my BlackBerry®

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