Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Repeat Offenses

When you know yourself you trust yourself. I'm realizing that I'm still learning myself as i transition from a young lady to a woman. This transition can bring all sort of doubts into existence, even doubts about stuff i was once sure about. Through my ever-growing Faith and determination to give positive energy in every situation i should find trust in myself. But as humans, we can trick ourselves into doubt, especially when life seems really good or really bad. We tell ourselves that this is too good to be true or during dark moments that this couldn't possibly be happening to me. Either way, we fool ourselves into not accepting reality and make all sorts of excuses and rationalizations to feed the doubt. For me, time and time again i hit a dark spot or a rough patch and always work my way through it...i persevere. So why is it that i still question how something will work out, when is this going to end, or why is this happening again? If i tap into my past and remember previous struggles or doubts or great successes that tricked me into self-sabotage, i should have learned to hold strong and not give up. My past holds the answers to current challenges and I'm sure if you really get quiet with yourself you can tap into past experiences as well. Most of the things we do as humans are repeat offenses or habits. Habits that can be traced back and reveal either an answer if we handled it appropriately or at least a possible solution that didn't work out so we know not to do it again.

I think I'm going to write down my most challenging moments in life and beside it jot down the solution or attempts to resolve the challenges. I want to see what i can learn from my past. It is often recommended not to look to your past, but if you are constantly facing struggles or feel like your always floating just above water maybe you still have a lesson to learn. All things have a purpose, especially repeat offenses we put ourselves through. Sometimes you just gotta backtrack, pull out that old dark mental book of hard times and see what you missed. Just like you find a new meaning or message in a book you read before, you can find a new resolution or an old one you forgot about in that mental book. While it's true that we should look forward to see what's coming, don't be afraid of your past. It just might help nudge you further into your future and prevent history from repeating itself.

Peace y'all!


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